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Thankful

Thankful

For more than just a brief moment
I come back to you
Since moving away eleven years ago.
Still baffled by how long it's been since
We last spent this much time together.
Want to desperately look you in the eyes as I
Thank you for always having kept it real with me
But circumstance won't allow.
Through tangled emotions I
Apologize for having left so suddenly.
Thank you, again, for your innate sincerity and
Authentic companionship.
Every thought, every utterance, every breath
Is outlined with influences of you.
Silently, I reflect upon the fact that my
First is really my second and my second really my first,
The result of choosing family future over my past.
No longer the owner of me
I live for my new king and queen
The ones I have birthed
New owners of my very existence.
To whom upon my expiration from this Earth
I will serve as guardian
And join their legions
So I can continue to watch over each, protecting, until their last days.
Once again, you’ve welcomed me with open arms
And embraced me with your presence.
A still calm envelopes uneasy quivers and vigorous palpitations
Assuring
It's impossible to hate a love so pure.
As we continue speaking on silent terms
Honesty offers a gentle reminder, creating internal whispers
Leaving me no choice but to admit:
I crossed the Hudson to a new home
But, Brooklyn, you are
My SOULMATE
My SOULMATE
My: Setinel Overlooking Unconditionally Loving My Absolute Truthful Existence
My SOUL MATE
Still BK, keeping it real,
we’ve shared a bed of deep thought & emotion,
 
 
Dodged and jabbed love in the shape of fear,
created an awkward affair
amidst feuding shadows
present to our pasts.
Your rare sincerity frequently seasoned me
like spices shower upon raw meat, left to tenderize.
Your voice sometimes harmonizing deep, soft tones of sharp-tongued jargon
- like acupuncture to my soul.
And it was the most comforting discomfort I ever knew.
But it’s been a few more years since that first last time
And I find myself in a new place, once again.
Voids that once accepted you as my destiny
Have been cemented with serenity and completion.
SOULMATE: I thank you for you,
But understand as I began to drown in the sea of the us that once was, I came to understand we were
Two mirroring negatives positively destined to cyclone into disaster
and someone
had to be bold enough to
just
let
it
go.

© Bernice Sosa. Published by permission in Centro Voices on 24 April 2015.